presidential help for your mega cold.

Oh dear. I have not posted in far, far too long. I've checked my stat counter sporadically and can see my visitors have dwindled to, like, 2 per day. And those are usually via Google searches for odd things like "little mermaid immigrant stories" or classy hits like "flung a thong."

This mass visitation by the world wide web's stranger elements is also likely because I have not been leaving comments on other people's blogs.

It's work, people. And childcare. I had no idea how draining it would all be. Thank god for summer vacations; people not in the teaching biz simply don't understand we EARN that time off, yo.

And I've had to help with a friend's wedding--bridal shower, bachelorette party, and wedding. And I've somehow managed to catch a mega-cold. MEGA. As in: the type of cold dinosaurs used to get. Before there was medication to relieve colds. And so now, billions of years later, this dinosaur mega cold has begun hitting humans. And there are no cold medications that can relieve it. This most likely explains the extinction of all the dinosaurs: they got a nasty, nasty cold, and there were no medicines to relieve it. And so they all died.

I do have some cute kid stories, I will share one now:

My Mega-cold was simmering for many, many days, leaving me lethargic and unwilling to do anything online beyond silly facebook quizzes (except for the one day I got into a discussion on a mommy board about who elected Barack Obama--why do people not see how racist and ignorant they look when they say things like: "The only reason Obama was elected was because poor people and minorities with the attitude I'm gonna get me some money! voted for him." And then they get upset when they are told they are being racist and ignorant. Except I get the sad feeling they're much more upset about being called ignorant than racist.)

Anyway. The day my Mega-cold REALLY hit, I had no voice--just a weird growl-like whisper-squeak. And so little (we'll call him) Pepe, upon hearing my scary non-voice, said "Hey look." (Because this is how Pepe starts all of his sentences when addressing adults).

"I know how you can make your neck better. You can go to Goger and buy something for your neck. I forget what they call them, but Goger has stuff for necks. It makes your neck better. If you go to Goger and get some, I bet your neck will be better tomorrow."

And so I thanked Pepe for his Goger recommendation, and he very seriously said: "You're welcome."

That was Friday.

On Monday, my voice was semi-back but now I had a hacking cough. Every 6 seconds. And my sinuses were/are clogged like a backed up sewer, and not in a good way. And I have very little control over the firing of my brain synapses and neurons, or whatever the brain scientists call them. But my voice was almost back, and this was all Pepe needed:

"Hey look. Did you go to Goger? 'Cause it sounds like your neck is better."

"Yes," I said, "I DID go and get some neck medicine. Thank you SO much for helping me, Pepe."

And Pepe popped out his chest and goes, "No problem. I can help you again if you need me."

Did I mention that, this past February, Pepe was his classroom's Student of the Month? Except when Pepe proudly announced this to me it was "Hey look. Did you see me on the news this morning? I won. I got President. I'm president of the school. For like a whole month."

Pepe makes an awesome president. And an awesome doctor.

The End.

So. I'm going to go get over this mega cold. And also, go have Spring Break. And then towards the end of April I'll be back on your blogs, blogging in your comment sections. And I'll try to find something amusing to throw up here.

Until then I'll be in Goger a lot, looking for Mega Dinosaur cold cures. With President Pepe's prescription in my hand.