guess who's having a birthday!!

first, i would like to apologize for my lackadaisical visitation of many of your blogs as of late (translation: none, no visits, zero long comments, nada). it’s inexcusable and my superego is currently giving me the silent treatment because of it (and my id and ego--in typical infantile/teenage attitude--are all: dude, whatever) (also, i'd like to point out that the above sentences with the id, ego, and superego mentions are actually being written for all the googlers doing searches for “id vs. ego vs. superego”) (seriously--i get on average about 4 of these per day, from all over the planet) (and one poor soul from the UK who found me while googling “my ego is making me miserable”) (which was months ago…so i deeply hope s/he and his/her superego have figured out how to whip that ego back into shape. egos. they're a piece of work, i tell ya).

i am currently stopping by here and there and catching up, and so will rectify this within the next few days, or by sunday at the latest, as i have places to do, people to be on friday-sunday until 2 PM.

because next week is my birthday, i (and president barack obama—he said i could mention him in this if i wanted) am declaring most of next week International Amy Week.

your schedule for the week:

MONDAY 2/23: Pajama Day. take the day off! go through a dunkin donuts drive-through in your pj's for donuts and coffee, watch trashy tv, order pizza delivery for lunch, chinese delivery for dinner (or vice versa), and drink hot cocoa. all day long. or, alternately, if you simply MUST go to work (party pooper): get into your pj’s as soon as you get home and refuse to move from your couch, even if someone is claiming they’re bleeding profusely and need an ambulance. uh, hello? it’s Amy PJ Day—sorry, you’ll have to call 911 yourself. and stop bleeding all over the carpet. we'll have to get it steam cleaned again.

TUESDAY 2/24: Cupcake Day. find a cupcake, any flavor but i strongly recommend chocolate cake/chocolate icing. eat it. go on and on about it to someone you have regular contact with, all day long. if you have more than one cupcake, go on and on about it right in front of someone while eating your extra cupcake but not offering them any.

WEDNESDAY 2/25: Gerard Butler and Clive Owen Day. visit youtube and watch at least 60 minutes of gerard and clive interviews. learn to appreciate scottish burrs and british accents. if you already appreciate these things, learn to appreciate green eyes. if you already appreciate those, then well done, spirit sister/brother. carry on.

THURSDAY 2/26: Starbucks Soy Chai Latte Day. have you tried one yet? if not, what the hell! go get you one! run (or drive) like the wind! tell them Amy and Barack sent you.

FRIDAY 2/27: Soothing Bath Day. find a tub. put water in it, with some bath oil and/or bubbles. get a cup of tea and/or a glass of wine. light a candle or five. put on some soothing music (sorry, NOOOO aerosmith allowed, republicans). if someone wants to enjoy your soothing bath with you, have at it. if you don’t have a bathtub, take a long shower. yes, i KNOW that’s bad for the planet, and not very green conscious of me particularly since i live in georgia where we've endured a drought for about 25 going on 100 years now. but this is International AMY Week, remember? and barack obama said it was okay. so stop being a problem superego and just take a dang bath or shower already.

and now, for a Birthday Meme (which will be capitalized correctly, since I added this part after taking a much needed lunch/nap break):

I found this cool birthday calculator. Here is what it told me about me and my special day:

*I was conceived on or about June 2, 1971 which was a Wednesday.

*Ironically, in a Cosmic way, I was also born on a Wednesday.

*As a Pisces, with a Life Path number of 8 whose description I don’t agree with at all. I feel more like a 9. Unfortunately, a 9 is the exact Life Path number I'm NOT supposed to comingle with, on any level. The planet could stop spinning suddenly if an 8 and a 9 get together.

*My fortune cookie says: A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection. Hopefully my secret admirer’s initials are Gerard and Butler and that sign of affection is a 10 bedroom mansion on the moors of Scottish Bora Bora.

*I’m a Chinese Rat, a Native American Wolf, and a Leap Year baby (though, thankfully, without a Leap Day birthday—I’d be really sad if I only got to truly celebrate my birthday once every four years) (although, on the other hand, I’d still only be 9 in terms of true birthdays, and to be 9 again would be awesome--but only if I could be 9 and know what I know now) (I'd have picked better high school friends for starters) (and I would have backpacked through Europe for seconds).

*As of 2/18/2009 when I did these calculations, I was: 444 months old.... 13,510 days old....324, 251 hours old...and 1, 167, 306, 110 seconds old. Man. That’s old. What are they trying to do? Make my ego miserable?

*My lucky day is Thursday (I disagree; I think my lucky day is Saturday), my lucky numbers are 3 and 7 (why not 8?), and my ruling planets are Jupiter and Neptune (I’ve always been partial to Neptune…Jupiter is simply too big for its britches).

*I’ll have 37 candles on my birthday cake this year. Did you know you can boil 4.23 US ounces of water with 37 candles?

*My birthday tree is the Pine Tree.

Pine Tree people: Love agreeable company (true), are very robust (usually, but only on Fridays around 5 PM), know how to make life comfortable (mostly true), are very active (when I was, say, 34), are good companions (ask my husband), but are seldom friendly (wait a second! how can you be a good companion, but seldom friendly?), fall easily in love but their passion burns out quickly (not according to my addictive and codependent personality), give up easily (only when mountain climbing or balancing my checkbook), and have many disappointments till they find their ideal, trustworthy, practical (I'm not sure what this means, but yes) (I think?).

*Songs that people loved on my birthday that I love too:

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face (Roberta Flack)

A Horse With No Name (America)

American Pie (Don McLean)

Me and Mrs. Jones (BillyPaul)

*Celebrities who share my birthday:

Dakota Fanning

Peter Fonda

Patricia Richardson

George Frederic Handel

W.E.B. Dubois

Three actors, one musician, and a writer. See?? I am totally, totally wasting my talents in public education. Dagnabit! I KNEW it!